How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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