I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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