Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
