so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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