I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
vagina is talking i cant
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Lo siento on account of my penis...
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize