party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
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