That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
