please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Be still, my beating vagina.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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