i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
