i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
