o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize