not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
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