ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
It's never too late to be topless.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
