u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize