I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Randomize
