so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
