I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Randomize
