he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
