So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Randomize
