I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
