sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
