This dress was meant to end up on your floor
operation have a gay friend backfired
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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