I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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