Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Randomize
