Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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