Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Just puked most of my soul out..
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