my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
