I puked a lego.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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