you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I am naked and annoyed.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
