i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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