i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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