I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
