He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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