I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
How does one acquire holy water?
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
