you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
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