Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Randomize
