Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
