this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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