Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
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Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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