They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
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