I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
