you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
