So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
