oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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