I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
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i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
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