btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
