I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
