She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
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Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Randomize