i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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