There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Randomize
