Please, let me fuck your mom
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
he fucked my hip out of place.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
