Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
