You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
