On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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