She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Randomize
