i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
