I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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