ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
i believe in u and ur pee
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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